Demo Video

Wow, so here we go!  Here is a little sneak peak at fit 'n 5 video blogs I am working on.  I have so many fun things coming and can't hardly wait to share with everyone.  Set some goals today, shocking, I feel not so overwhelmed.  Putting things in perspective and setting goals that are do-able.  Thank you!  To my oh so patient friend, John, who sat with me and helped me plan out this whole new adventure.  'Reaching the Nations' I am calling it, through fitness and lifestyle training.  On a daily basis I sit and help others plan out how to reach fitness and lifestyle goals.  Then provide the tools to get there.  It really is nice to have someone help you do that.  Even though I squirmed at the idea of making goals.  After seeing that this can happen, my attitude went from 'this is to much' to 'i can do this'.  I can hardly wait to blog about 'how to set goals'.  I'm telling you, this is such a great thing to be able to do.  Anyone can set a goal, but are you reaching them?  If you are reaching them was it worth it?  Does the satisfaction leave you fulfilled or empty, striving for the next big thing.  Was the process in a nut shell......I don't have words there!!??  What is your process and where are you going with the goals you are setting?   Are you thinking now?  Or are you like me and tune out as soon as you hear the word 'goal'.  You know what you want and whatever happens, happens.  Whatever.  Whatever is SO one of my favorite words.  I have been known to dive into projects with a huge vision and lack of direction.  Whatever, I have goals now :P

Check out the super rough first video blog...

a typical busy day

So basically I'm just super pumped about InstaCollage and have nothing better to take pictures of!  Exciting I know!  This pretty much describes my typical day fitting in quick meals and a quick workout.  Get up grab pre-made breakfast.  Teach a tennis lesson.  Workout in my room.  Yes, on a beach towel, a fan going, and using the stop watch on my phone.  Foam roller always close at hand.  LOVE that thing! 

Workout was:  Squats, pushups, and sit ups.  start with 2 reps and increase 2 each round.  So 2, 4, 6...for 15 mins.  I got up to 20 reps.  had that goal in my head and went up to 16 mins, forgot to look at my phone.  Quick mile jog outside tracked on RunKeeper app.  25 min workout.  Sweet! 

Actually I was super sweaty and rushing to make lunch and shower before heading to the gym to train.  Pulled it off. 

Lunch was:  Sun dried tom basil wrap (100 cals so crazy), 2 brown scrambled eggs, couple pinches of mozzarella cheese, broccoli lightly steamed, red onion, and some salsa.  New fave dish!

Brought protein mix with me to make shake at gym between clients.  Stop at store on way home to grab din.  I am pretty worn out by now.  In and out of the store, make din and back off to gym.  One late night a week training a super sweet lady.

Dinner was: Salmon, Spaghetti Squash, and homemade sweet potato fries. 

day over heading home.

Okay I can't lie.  This pic was after late night the week before.  I looked more like a wreck prolly after a day like this one :)   Everyone seemd to be having a rough day including sweet Linda.  There was no picture taking this day but we did laugh it out and have a great workout!
Wanted to update with a pic of the short hair.  It's already growing so fast!!

Dear Blog,

We haven't met in a while!  The busyness of life I guess.  Def have once again run myself into the ground before taking a step back.  This time I have learned, ha really!!  Last week I went back to Illinois to visit my family.  Dad has been going through a health battle with kidney cancer.  Being so far has been harder than I realised.  At first I wanted to tune all that out and go about life as usual.  I will 'feel' later, right now I have stuff to do.  You might know how that goes!?  At any rate, I'm so so grateful for the chance to stop and spend some much needed time. 

In the midst of spending hours at the hospital it was shockingly restful and I actually had some fun!  Of course taking pictures along the way :) 
Before chemo started we took a trip to the zoo.  My sis had to leave the next day to work her biggest event of the year, River Fest.  She is a trip, I just adore my little sister to peices.  Even though she is loud and yells at me sometimes haha!!

Cheeky, Daddy, and Me at the zoo

 Bears

Penguins

Mom and I went to see cheeks do her thing.  They gave her a golf cart and she was for sure in charge and running the show like a star.

St. Charles River

So then we watched these dogs dive!  yeah!  Strangest thing, Dock Dogs they are called.  They measure what dog can dive the farthest.  

DOT DOG

Mama and I at river fest

That was cool.  Now I had a bit of a wait in the airport trying to get back to Texas.  Spending a whole day waiting to fly stand by and not getting on was worth it.  I got to see my BFF and spend one more night on valley!

Ian and I at the airport

Basically I have the coolest, sweetest aunt ever!  She met me at the airport the next morning, at 4am, to fly with me back to Texas.  We couldn't get on to houston so we got to fly FIRST CLASS to DENVER!  I was freaking out!  And so wishing I would have done my hair for the occasion :/

Aunt Whitney and I sitting first class :D

That was short lived.  Got to see the rockies only from the plane window.  Right back on another plane.  I was so hoping to get out and explore.  Gods timing is perfect.  I will wait on that one.

Thats the end of my photo journey back to the home base.  I love you family and I miss you more than you know!!! 

write it down!

I personally started keeping a journal/book of recipes in my new favorite cook book.  I  keep it close at hand and sometimes just take it to the store with me along with my list of groceries to get. Thank you Rose Heights for being so awesome and providing tools to live healthy in all areas! It's great for ideas and to pull open when cooking. I just started writing stuff in it and stuffing papers with recipes in it. It's my organized mess that I now can't live without in the kitchen!  The past month I have been moving and in transition.  Just like when traveling, during a move it's hard to stay on track and eat healthy. I HATE being off track and am learning to embrace the messy-ness of it all. But really, it is very possible to eat healthy on the road. This is why at least basic knowledge of nutrition is so important. Some may need a more detailed food journal if working toward a specific goal.  Anyway...

Here is a link to Kristen's Healthy Kitchen Recipes!

Workout log and Recipe/meal journal

Also, it has helped me so much during a time of transition to have my workout log written down and updated. If it's not written down I get to the gym in the middle of the week and have no idea what muscle groups I have done or no plan of what to do next.  I encourage people I train to keep a workout log, especially so they can look back on it for workout ideas.  This helps me to see what my clients are doing outside of their session with me.  What a great way to highlight success's and see what areas to focus on to improve.  SO write it down guys!  Thanks!! :))

If you are not currently focused on your health and fitenss and want to be just start and start SIMPLE.  A basic plan and goals then start keeping a log...WRITE IT DOWN!

Looking forward to posting some more specific workout's with exercises included!! AND starting the 40 day devotional that I planned on back in January. The process gets spread out. That's the beautiful thing about living healthy, the on-going process never ends!!!

a quest for health

I want to tell you about my new quest for better health. It's a pretty common goal and there are a million voices grabbing for your attention on the subject. The word 'diet' sends me running and immediately tune out whatever follows, generally. They all seem to promote weight loss, muscle gain, and now more commonly performance enhancement, healing and disease prevention. No carb, low carb, high protein, low fat, good fats and bad fats, no sugar, no sodium, no dairy, grain free or just gluten-free, organic, soy or no soy and the list goes on.

People are so unique and have different needs and goals. I'm asked often for help with food plans, and find most are just uneducated on nutrition. An exception would be the cases where health issues have forced a major diet change, then there is more knowledge and awareness. Also, culture and environment play a big role in what people daily feed on. The past week I have spent a good about of the time in the grocery store, and health food stores, reading and researching. I'm overloaded and have learned more in the past two weeks possibly than in four years of college. College did teach my how to dig for information and test my sources. I'm for sure not a nutritionist, but I have studied nutrition on the surface. It's important and will impact results drastically. Personal training and diet go hand in hand. My own personal story of recovery from an eating disorder and learning to have a healthy relationship with food is freeing, and I love to share! I have a lot to say on the subject :) From being in close relationship with some amazing women, I know I'm not alone. I will say, restriction mentality does lead down roads that don't end well. It's not about taking control of your life by controlling what you eat, but about taking charge of your health by making healthy choices.

Trying not to make this post a novel. I was handed a book at church last week. Our pastor is leading a 12-week transformation series. Legit! I am interested in this 40 day devotional. I do believe doing things Gods way leads to success. One of the first things I read is:

The most important decision you will make during your life is, how will you respond to Jesus Christ. Make a decision about how you will live and for whom you will live. Will it be Christ or for self?

I like that.

The scripture as far as food intake its based on Genesis 1:29 It's about eating the food God created in His original provision in the first garden.

Then God said, “I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food. And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds in the sky and all the creatures that move along the ground – everything that has the breath of life in it – I give every green plant for food. And it was so. Gen1:29(NIV)

Ok, hang on! This is suggesting to go on a plant based, diet, Lord!? C ya! Just saying. Or what's the new word...that cray! I am usually behind on the hip new lingo, my sister would prolly laugh at me for saying that :) Basically the plates suggested consist of: 50% leafy greens and raw veges, 20% lightly steamed or cooked veges, 20% bean, lentils, whole grains, stews, soups, small serving of animal products, 10% fruit and occasional bread portion of the meal. That's intense and against the grain of some popular diet trends. I'm not going to get into the subject of grains and meats/animal products right now. I will say... eggs, fish, chicken, and beef are a major source of my protein intake currently. Also, as far as grains.. I do love oatmeal. The original oats, not the instant stuff. I do want to clean my diet of processed foods and expand my recipe base. I've already learned some neat new healthy tricks and am looking forward to sharing. So 40 days...I'm going to do it, we'll see what happens :)

What I don't like about talking 'diets' is the tension and differing of opinions, judgment, and taking of sides that so easily happens. It's almost like talking religion or politics!

I'm going to quote Scott's book, this is from the preface:

This book is not about legalism, dietary laws, asceticism, or religious food restrictions. We have freedom and liberty in Christ, and we are not confined to strict dietary laws. Yet, diet is one of those closely held belief systems that can lead to arguments- sometimes heated- and then categorization followed by separation. Within Christian circles, it can be equally divisive as groups and individuals take a stand and attempt to defend their positions, often with unspoken assumptions and misunderstanding. Therefore, I have not named a diet, nor do I promote a named diet. I encourage you to return to foods that God created, supported by the Bible and science.

Before this becomes hard core, jk it's so not hard core. Before the commitment I'm taking a couple weeks prep phase because reviewing the material there are items I've never heard of, not many but enough. Like any change, it's a process. I plan on blogging the 40 days, not everyday but as the Lord leads. Honestly I wanted to give up when my attempt to make breakfast bars failed. Coconut flour does not work as a substitute for almond flour. I think every store in Tyler is out of almond flour, if it even exists. I will conquer the breakfast bars....but not today. Let me share with you a healthy creation that did work. Love smoothies and never would have thought to mix veges and fruit together in them. I mean I have never even heard of Kale! Parents, kids might like this one!

Nutrient dense foods included in the smoothie:

1/2 cup Unsweetened pomegranate juice: good source of folate, potassium, vitamin K, and antioxidants (one study found it to have higher antioxidant activity than red wine, grape juice, green tea, or acai juice)

antioxidant 101: They protect and repair cells from damage caused by free radicals. Helps strengthen the immune system. Found in beta-carotene, vitamin C, and vitamin E.

4-5 Strawberries: low in saturated fat, cholesterol, and sodium. Good source of folate, potassium, fiber, vitamin C, and manganese

1/2 cup Raspberries: vitamin K, magnesium, fiber, and manganese

1 leaf of stemmed Kale: fiber, protein, thiamine, riboflavin, folate, iron, magnesium, phosphorus, vitamin A, vitamin C, vitamin K, vitamin E, vitamin B6, calcium, potassium, copper, manganese, and omega 3 fatty acids. Contains antioxidant nutrients (including and unusual concentration of carotenoids and flavonoids, lutein, and beta-carotene) yeah! Contains anti-inflammatory nutrients, and anti-cancer nutrients (specifically helps against breast cancer, colon cancer, ovarian cancer, and bladder cancer). Another benefit, it helps lower cholesterol.

OMG, I <3 KALE!!!
Add some Ice Cubes to desired thickness

new years thoughts

Let me just start by saying December 2011 was one of the strangest months of my life. I'm telling you the Lord messed up my view of timing and time in general. Along with time, there were some mindset shifts. One big one was old mindsets are a false sense of comfort. My old way of doing things and dealing with things no longer flies. I knew this was true, now truth is becoming my reality. I'm going to spare you from details and say I'm also not perfect but His grace is more than enough. His grace is continuing to perfect me until I'm running in the door of heaven.

I don't mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have no achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us. Philippians 3:12-14

Backing up a little, going forward indeed, just sharing what the Lord has been teaching me. Late November He started laying on my heart the importance of relationship. It started with the revelation of God sending His son (father/son relationship) to reconcile our relationship with God (now we are in father/son or daughter relationship with God). He is all about relationship with Him first and others next. When we are in a committed relationship with God our relationships with others have opportunity to take on more depth and meaning.  Since the love of God is true love I want to be full of Him so I can love others with the love of Christ. When we try to obey God without relationship it becomes following rules and regulations. Doing good deeds out of our own strength becomes acts of righteousness, when Jesus said we can do increasingly more in His strength.

For no one can ever be made right with God by doing what the law commands. The law simply shows us how sinful we are. But now God has shown us a way to be made right with him without keeping the requirements of the law, as was promised in the writings of Moses and the prophets long ago. We are made right with God by placing our faith in Jesus Christ. And this is true for everyone who believes, no matter who we are. Romans 3:20-22

I tell you the truth, anyone who believes in me will do the same works I have done, and even greater works, because I am going to be with the Father. John 14:12

Watch out! Don't do your good deeds publicly, to be admired by others, for you will lose the reward from your Father in heaven. When you give to someone in need, don't do as the hypocrites do- blowing trumpets in the synagogues and streets to call attention to their acts of charity! I tell you the truth, they have received all the reward they will ever get. But when you give to someone in need, don't let your left hand know what your right hand is doing. Give your gifts in private, and your Father, who sees everything, will reward you. Matthew 6:1-4

Still on relationship here. I'm reading Captivating right now and I can only handle a couple pages atta time! From Captivating...

GODS HEART FOR RELATIONSHIP

The vast desire and capacity a woman has for intimate relationships tells us of God's vast desire and capacity for intimate relationships. In fact, this may be the most important thing we ever learn about God – that he yearns for relationship with us. “Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God” (John 17:3). The whole story of the Bible is a love story between God and his people. He yearns for us. He cares. He has a tender heart. (pg. 29)

When you love someone you don't want to hurt them. However, offense seems to happen at some point in relationship regardless of if it's intentional or not. To the measure we forgive others we are forgiven. (Matthew 6:14&15) Weather or not it seems like others are taking advantage of grace is between them and the Lord.  Do we trust the Lord with our offense? Anyway, when we love God with all our heart obedience flows out of intimacy. I want to know the Lord like that. Intimacy over bondage to the law of sin and death.

Well, on to the calendar year 2012. God and timing just makes me smile now. I asked the Lord a couple nights ago to tell me something I don't know. He said let go of complete control. Yeah. I'm pretty sure that was Him. So waiting and trusting. Trusting and moving. What does it mean to really live anyway, because I want to live!  In Him is true life right?  This is life that shines the light of Jesus. (John 1:4&5) I want to be close, close to His side. So heaven is real, and death is a lie...

Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him and he will help you. Psalm 37:5

Yesterday I was rushing to prepare food in between clients and sliced my finger chopping stuff. OMG it hurt so bad and I was so mad at myself for rushing. Okay so lesson learned...slow down ;) I was considering going to get stitches but whatevs I think I'm good. Then it really hit me. I was being such a baby over my wounded finger. It is pretty deep and it hurt bad. Physically that pain was nothing compared to the wounds Jesus must have suffered for my sins. I was like oh my god Lord the price you paid for my freedom because of my offense is too much for me to grasp. He did that for me, do I really grasp the gift of the cross. To top it off he cares about my wound, my little cut finger. He took the punishment for my offense.

But he was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins. He was beaten so we could be whole. He was whipped so we could be healed. All of us, like sheep, have strayed away. We have left God's path to follow our own. Yet the Lord laid on him the sins of us all. Isaiah 53:5&6

God paid a high price for you, so don't be enslaved by the world. 1Corinthians 7:23

When I was working out the other day this song by Hillsong got my attention:

Beautiful Exchange

Trading your life

for my offenses

for my redemption, you carried the blame

Breaking the curse

of our condition

Perfection took our place

When only love could make a way

You gave your life in a beautiful exchange

whoop for fall weather!!

As far as my workouts go.. this summer I somewhat commited my self to doing crossfit twice a week.  And this is how I fell about it...

haha...this is after a WOD and I'm beat!  This is prolly the WOD I told Shannon there was no way I could lift up that bar over my head one more time!  She thought about it, paced away, came back to tell me I was doing it.  Urghhh :P  And then I ripped my hand open...that was awesome...Shannon was so excited for my first battle wound!!  LOL I LOVE YOU FRIEND you are an awesome coach...thank you for encouraging me!

Pretty nasty, sorry!  It healed super quick :)  Okay, for real though the craziest most awesome thing I might have gained from crossfit is the mental toughness.  I'm not sure if its because the WODS are so challenging its extremely hard to focus on anything else but getting through whatever task you are on or what.  I'm usually a pretty competitive person.  When I play a tennis match I struggle with focusing too much on my performance during the stroke or what the score is.  I have been wanting that mental toughness back, the ability to tune out distractions when playing a point.  I was sort of shocked when I went out to play tennis after a couple weeks of doing crossfit that my mindset was calm and aggressive.  Not to mention it has increased my speed and reaction time...love it!!

It's defiantly a plus that results do come...here are a couple pics in my fave summer dress...

Well summer is over and I'm done with crossfit..jk :)  I am really looking forward to a season of rest and recovery.  Lord willing of course.  This fall weather we have in east TX is so wonderful and perfect for running.  I have enjoyed running pretty much ever since I have been into fitness. Weather permittng it's my first choice for a workout.  When traveling its so easy to throw running shoes in the suitcase and go jogging.  I haven't traveled too much but I defiantly remember runs in San Diego down the beach, stopping in random surfer type shops.  Also in Mesa enjoying the dry heat and desert climate.  I'm sort of a grandma so that is my extent of exciting runs.  I have been known to layer up and venture out into the snowing coldness in the burbs...just gota watch out for layers of ice.  You know, do the little slip and slide.. look around hoping no one noticed that moment of grace :))
While this weather lasts I'm going to soak it up and enjoying jogging the Rose Redman trail.  I am also enjoying strength and circuit training workouts 2-3 times a week.  I'm hoping to WOD a few times a month too...gota stay tough! 
Here's one from a recent 'strength/leg/just squat..i hate ben wods' workout.  Diana and I had a blast and made it through the whole thing!

Well it's time to train and then head to play in a doubles match.  I love the ladies on my uspta league!  I think we need a team name...or maybe we have one and I'm not aware yet...

my next 30 years

Isn't that a country song? I have always loved country music, and I'm convinced I'm a country girl at heart, even though I was raised in a suburb on the outskirts of Chicago. Seeing as my 30^th birthday is coming, and, I mean its really coming, can't it just wait.. hold-on-im-not-ready! I guess I thought I would be 20 something forever and all these great things were suppose to happen in your 20's. On one hand there are so many things I thought would have happened by now and on the other hand in reflection its hard to believe so much was packed into there.

     Let's see my 20^th birthday, I was a sophomore at Northern Michigan. That was the year I decided, well my mom highly recommended I major in 'health club' (laugh out loud). I was originally headed into elementary education after one year at a Jr. college near my parents house and one year at NMU. I started working with a private tennis coach at an athletic club to get ready for college tennis and became, well at the time obsessed with fitness. Working out and being healthy was still a huge interest and the idea of standing in a classroom full of kids in reality made me want to run! There you have it, major declared in Health and Fitness, year 20...thank you mom!

     By the end of my sophomore year in college I had sort of got away from being the girl who studied and worked out all the time and went back to old ways of partying my way through life. Did that pretty much all through high school, it was familiar. My 21^st birthday I remember being excited not to have to use a fake id to get into the bar, risk the chance of it getting taken away and missing out. Fast forward a couple years....somehow, I made it through college and maintained a decent GPA. Let me say this about graduation, my family made the trip up north by car to be there, but I really think the main event was getting to see the house I lived at. Fitch Street house was not level at all. I promise you my room was on a downward slope. This is good too.. right out side my bedroom door was a huge HOLE in the floor at least 10 inches all the way around. My room was on the second floor and I just really wish I had a picture of that place because it was incredible.

     The end of Senior year I had prepared to take NASM to be a certified personal trainer. Now living back at my parents I hurried to get certified and get a job. I remember telling the fitness manager at East Lakeview Multiplex during my interview, that I was confident I wanted to be a trainer, had no experience yet and asked her to take a chance on me. Hands down, loved that place! Right around the corner from Wrigley Field and across the street from Lake Michigan. Trained there 3 full years and worked with some of the best people ever!!

     Okay I'm what, 25 now. My super awesome friend and I, who I lived with on Fitch street and played tennis with in college, decided we were going to go after the dream of having our own tennis club. In order to do that it only made sense we would need to learn how to teach tennis first. Ali had heard of a place in Tyler TX that had a program for that! I got it in my head that I was moving to Texas and couldn't wait to get there. We had been planning this for a couple years, and talked about it often during our days on Fitch. She was back in her home town in CO. Months before it was time to leave I got myself in a huge mess of trouble. Driving drunk, ran into an undercover cop car and spent the night in jail. Yeah, not a joke. As I laid there curled in a ball shaking, sick, cold, mickey mouse t shirt on, sweat pants, no contacts, can't see (pretty much drowning in a pool of my own sin), I remember thinking this is really bad over and over. That, and I heard someone say one time God was the closest in times like this..when He felt really far and you really needed Him the most. I don't know why but I kept thinking those two thoughts all night. Mom and Dad came to get me the next morning and all I was worried about was...did I mess up that bad I'm not going to make it to TX!? I also wondered what kind of condition my lil silver slug bug was in. Not to mention the feeling of being a failure lingered as it had come and gone growing up.

     Finally I had everything taken care of and court stuff cleared. I had to ride a bike half that year because my license was suspended until my lawyer got my driving privileges back somehow. The purple huffy from target was pretty awesome, just saying! I was hesitant to go back out to clubs after all that but got back into it and celebrated the send off down south. Upon arriving in Tyler I realized this is NOT what I expected my big adventure in Texas to look like. First of all the plan was one year.. get my tennis teaching certificate, meet a cowboy and move on to a tennis and fitness club on the beach. Brighter Days Beach Club is what I called it.

Going to bed now. I'm looking forward to reflecting on the next 5 years. I left out a lot, its just amazing to me to see everything come together. Honestly, I'm thankful to be alive looking through all that. I have met so many cool people and can't count the moments and events that have shaped my life. Makes me laugh because it was so out of character that I really packed up my car and drove to TX. It wasn't that wild, my dad drove and we had every form and kind of map you can think of. Dad had his brief case of course with the checklist on the yellow note pad out the whole time. The first two weeks here it rained pretty much every day. It rained so much it seemed like Texas was a tropical state. People seemed to move slower in everything they did. My fast paced, busy life had to slow down.

     Lets see, my 26^th birthday. Ali was unable to return from a quick trip home to visit family, she hurt her shoulder and couldn't play tennis for a while. I was involved in a relationship at the time and my boyfriend hyped up my birthday present saying it was pink, silver, small, and I was going to love it so much I would call my mom and have to tell her about it right away. Well I went to the mail that day and got my first present saying that there was a warrant out for my arrest, my license plates were no longer valid and my drivers license was no good either. Something had not gone through right with the court system and the paper that said I was released from everything didn't get where it was suppose to be. It looked like I was just not appearing on my final court date. So I had this huge mess and no clue what I was going to do. Opened the second present.. the small pink shiny silver thing, it was a bible. Yeah, Happy Birthday right!?

     I had gotten a job training at the gym in town. Premier Fitness. I thought these people were sorta strange. They prayed before trainer meetings, yoga was not taught there because of their beliefs, and I encountered peers that seemed to not just talk about Jesus, but talk to him...like he would talk back. My boyfriend got me to church a couple times. That took some major convincing because I thought I lived my life on purpose and in faith. I fought the invitation even though he told me there were a lot of nice people there who wanted to meet me. I was baptized as a baby and had read the Purpose Driven Life in college and surly I'm not that bad of a person. I thought I'm all good...right? I wanted to go but I had a lot of questions (go figure :P my favorite question as a kid...why?). I also felt scared, dirty, all kinds of ugly emotions. So yeah, I had a huge interest in attending church growing up but things were different now. My life was way messed up, I was way messed up, and I had no business being in someplace holy.

     About a year later the relationship was not going well, stuff was still not straightened out back home and I needed help. I was encouraged by a client to reach out to a friend. Well, I didn't have any friends I could talk to here. There was one girl that seemed sort of cool I had met in sunday school, the couple times I went. I had her phone number somehow. So I called her up. Told her my boyfriend and I had broken up and she told me, I will never forget this... “It's ok, well hang out, we'll go to this conference this weekend and I'll be there and Jesus will be there and its going to be ok”. I hung up the phone and was thinking to myself oh my god more jesus talk I can't handle this!

     Kori was and is still one of my best friends. She loved me right where I was at, and not going to lie she told me exactly what I didn't want to hear but needed to, often! By the time I was 27 I had learned about forgiveness of my past and surrendering my future. I had wanted to do good and live right. It was too good to be true that Jesus was going to rescue me from the mess I had created and make me into a new creation. Really, my past was forgiven and I was set free. Me, still extremely not perfect was accepted and loved by God. I was free to worship and live a life for Jesus. I mean I needed help, and someone to do something about my broken heart. I kept hearing that was the perfect kind of thing that God would want to do.

     I have been seeking and running after God since then. There has been a fair share of junk that I have walked out following the mountain top of receiving Christ's unconditional love. Stuff doesn't seem to stop coming up either. Deliverance and breaking free'er (pretty sure that's not a word, but it should be) are so worth it though... He walks through it with me. God is for me, full of love and compassion. He is there. He has always been there and always will be. No one is like you God! Now if that truth could get rooted deeper into my soul, what would that look like? There is a verse in the bible I really love, that talks about how no one can measure the depths of His understanding. So whatever it is...he understands.

     This just came to mind, it was at sales training from multiplex days I heard this, anyway....that people often times work out to avoid pain. Like to prevent injury, rehab an injury, compensate for over-eating, to feel better about themselves. We don't like pain. Just an hour ago I found out something that defiantly opened up an old wound. My immediate reaction is ,no, not going there and I'll deal with it later. Shove the anger and bitterness down a little deeper, its so much easier than confronting it. Forgiveness, I don't how..what does that even look like? People hurt us (especially the ones we love the most), our bad choices hurt us, loss hurts us. So could it be that we block God out of those places in our hearts that are wounded so we don't have to feel pain? Block out anything that might possibly hurt us, our has hurt us to avoid pain? If our hearts are blocked how can we fully love and receive love? An open heart to Gods light really is a beautiful thing, especially in super dark places. Some stuff that happens to us we have no control over, some we do. One thing remains, we can trust God. Trust with ALL your heart don't depend on your own understanding seek His will in ALL you do and He will show you which path to take. That verse from the book of Proverbs was the first bit of truth that really got rooted into my messy heart. He will love us in the most painful places, if we let him. Just a thought.

     I love living in the truth, and I can't stop saying love...love love love :) It still blows my mind that I happened to work at a faith based fitness center. I'm so grateful Cune and Michelle (the owners of Premier Fitness) follow the Lord and live their faith out loud. Training at Premier has defiantly impacted my life! One of the first things Cune said to me was something about the Lord knows the plans he has for my life. Plans to prosper not to harm plans for a hope and a future.

     Let's see, God is so faithful. My goal when I came here was to get certified by the USPTA to teach tennis. That is a huge deal for me because growing up I always looked up to my tennis coaches and now I am one. April of this year I passed the nerve racking two day testing process and its official I'm a USPTA tennis professional. Fitness is still a huge deal for me and I can't imagine my life without it. The most important thing in my life now is Jesus, if you haven't picked up on that already. :) He rescued me, saved me, took my shame, redeemed me, forgave me, leads me, holds me, heals me, helps me, gives me joy and hope when all else is gone. I did nothing to earn or deserve that you see. I confessed I'm a sinner, died to my old ways and received a new life. The one that He died for on the cross.

     There are some things that are stirring in my heart that I'm excited about, and excited to see what the Lord does. It's gona be wild, its gona be great, its gona be full of Him (love that song). I'm still here, and IM GOING TO BE 30, ok ok jk.. I think I'm coming to grips with that and might start to embrace it, maybe. I do know this...I NEED GOD, and He's not done with me yet :) So my next thirty years, I'm not sure what they they look like...but pretty sure they will include brighter days.

a new start

I love how we get a new start each day! Time to get organized and start doing the things I have been thinking about doing for... well a while. Like..

• BLOG!!!


• record my own personal workouts



• get address in the address book

SO I just ran into Nicole at starbucks, now I'm going to be held accountable to blog...gah accountability :P I tell my clients to record food and workouts, time to practice what I preach. Also, I love writing letters and stuff but rarely do because I don't have any address written down! So send me your address please :))



Check out exercise pooh!! My awesome client Steph and I were laughing about this during training:D For some reason his light hearted spirit makes me smile...